Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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