Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
