Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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