Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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