see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
