So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Actions speak louder than pants.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
