why didn't you poke me back
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
