the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
