he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
