JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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