Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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