I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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