Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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