What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
