Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize