She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
