Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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