So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
