This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
