Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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