dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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