Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
