If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
