I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize