And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
