I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize