Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
