Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize
