he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
