Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
