Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
