Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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