I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Your penis caused this!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
