You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
