I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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