did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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