I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
