Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
