oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
