I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
