Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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