He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
