I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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