It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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