you have to choose: penises or morals?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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