btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
