pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
