I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
