yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
