I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
