dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
In other news, I just burned my penis
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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