I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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