so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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