guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
