every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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