it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
