You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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