Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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