babies were throwing up all over the place
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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