I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
