I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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