; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
