Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
