Too much gin, very little bucket
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
