508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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