If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My vagina is officially offended.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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