We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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