come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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