we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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