Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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