omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
